


The Healing

by stargatefan_archivist



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Action/Adventure, Drama, Gen, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-31
Updated: 2013-12-31
Packaged: 2018-10-07 03:24:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10351245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stargatefan_archivist/pseuds/stargatefan_archivist
Summary: Spoilers: "Forever in a Day"Summary: Teal’c and Daniel talk... don’t really want to say too much more!





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Yuma, the archivist: this work was originally archived at [Stargatefan.com](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Stargatefan.com). To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [StargateFan Archive Collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/StargateFan_Archive_Collection).

The Healing

##  The Healing

##### Written by Dee Tervo   


  


**EPILOGUE for _Forever in a Day_**

Methodically I light the candles; careful as I have been taught to keep the same order... timing. It is as much a part of the ritual as are the deepest levels of kel'noreem. Ritual, order, duty... all things that have always been and must always be. How easily my legs fold as I sit cross-legged on the floor. Inhale deeply... exhale slowly. 

It had been a troubling day, made more difficult by the fact that the rest of my team seems to know what is wrong, yet no one would share that information with me. Perhaps they think I already know, but as is often the case, I find myself acutely aware of 'something' amiss. My observations, my instincts tell me this, but I am left without precise understanding, and it continues to trouble me. 

My symbiote shifts and pulsates lightly, causing my mind to relax as the healing connection gradually establishes itself. The closeness and familiarity of this act comforts me. It is the one part of my former life I had no choice but to bring along. It remains something no one, even closest of friends, wants to discuss or try to understand. Even O'Neill, having spent time within my body, wants nothing but to forget. My symbiote he calls "Junior," for to name it a Goa'uld is something too hard for even a seasoned warrior such as O'Neill to face. 

Normally, I am not troubled like this. Having survived for so long with my own feelings of little consequence, I'd become comfortable with never giving them voice. But these Tau'ri... with their feelings and their sense of freedom... bit by bit they are changing me. Allowing the Jaffa that I am to think for myself... to feel. I have noticed that with it comes with a price... remorse for past wrongdoing, and a pain deep within my chest that my symbiote can not heal. 

The world narrows to the internal focus of kel'noreem and time moves at an unknown pace. 

After a time, I feel a presence beside me. My attention shifts. A quiet, firm voice calls my name. It is Daniel Jackson, and now perhaps I shall know the source of the discord. 

With my eyes still closed, I respond, "Yes Daniel Jackson, how may I be of assistance to you?" 

He coughs and begins a hesitant reply. "Ummm... it's... ahh... not anything... well... I don't actually need help... it's just..." Another cough, and I know whatever he needs to say must be very difficult for him. "Jack... actually... asked me to come speak with you." He pauses, waiting for some acknowledgment from me. 

Reluctantly I disengage from the protective solitude my symbiote offers, and I look upon a most distressed face. Wetness fills his eyes as he looks away from my gaze. Tears. Something I have never experienced, although Doctor Frasier tells me they can be most healing. 

My first instinct is to command him to speak, but years spent with the Tau'ri have taught me that this method accomplishes little. I do not understand why he hesitates... what he expects from me. So I remain silent... waiting... 

He sits, nervously... hands rubbing up and down his thighs, rocking slightly back and forth. When he finally speaks, it is as if he's come to tell me a story. I respectfully listen. 

"I... I don't think I ever told you what today is. What it _was..._ It's our... _my..._ anniversary. Sha're and I were married four years ago today." 

His voice falters. This revelation causes him much pain. I remain listening. 

"It's an earth custom... celebrating year anniversaries of important events... birthdays... marriages..." He breathes out, trying to relax but it is not apparently successful. "I've made a point of remembering this day on my own, each year that we've been apart. It would keep me going... somehow... and each year I'd pledge to... well... to celebrate the next one with her... but now..." He can no longer sit still, and rises to pace about my room. 

I finally understand the source of today's unease. He feels the pain of his wife's death and at long last has brought it to me. "O'Neill was wise to suggest you come to me," I begin. "Sha're's death is something we must speak of, face-to-face." 

As I mention his wife's name and that final word... 'death'... together, he stops and ice-blue eyes look directly at me. There is such hurt in those eyes. If I did not know better, I would think I had mortally wounded him. His shoulders tremble from the effort of holding back emotion. 

"I am sorry." I tell him this even as my words sound empty and meaningless. I am _not_ sorry. To protect his life, I would do the very same thing without question or regret. 

"Why? Why did you have to _kill_ her?" His voice sounds lost and filled with such pain. 

I wonder if he expects an answer. I am certain he already knows what I will say. "It became clear to me that you would die if I did not take action. I had to be certain Ammonet's control of the device stopped immediately." 

"There was no other way? I mean... someone as skilled as you... a shot that would _stop_ her... but not..." He is unable to continue, as tears are now flowing down his face. 

For the first time I find myself questioning my response that day. I cannot deny feeling a true hatred for Ammonet, and having no special feelings or loyalty for Sha're. She had served a useful purpose for me. The fact that she pleased both Apophis and Ammonet, saved the lives of the other human women brought for the choosing. In an odd turn of events, because it was Sha're who was picked, it resulted in my being able to meet and join a formidable force of the Tau'ri and begin to fight the Goa'uld. 

Daniel Jackson must understand my hatred of Ammonet. When he faced his wife on Abydos and believed her to be Ammonet, he treated her with the same coldness and distrust. Yet... in the tent... the day of Ammonet's death... he had a gun... and could not bring himself to use it. 

"I needed to be certain," I repeat myself. 

He responds in anger. "You see? It doesn't matter what I want or feel. Don't you remember what I said after Jack _had_ to shoot Klorel? It was the same damned thing! Ribbon device... Jack had to _do_ something to save me. Well, later I told him, I told all of you, I didn't want it like that. Not like that. If saving my life meant killing Skaara... or... Sha're..." He begins to sob, as he sits back on the floor, head in hands. 

Something Doctor Frasier told me comes to mind. Survivor guilt. This becomes less about my actions and more about Daniel Jackson's guilt and grief. The pain returns to my chest and my symbiote is restless. 

I need to comfort this human... this brave warrior who wants nothing of warfare. Unfamiliar emotions spur me to his side and I place an arm about his shoulder. If I could give him my strength... my sense of purpose... that looks beyond one being's death... beyond the ties of home and family... toward the goal of freedom from oppression of the Goa'uld for all races. I want him to realize how important he is in that fight. He knows how much alternate realities have suffered without his presence... but he refuses to acknowledge it. 

There is something I can say... something I can offer... and do this sincerely. I lean down so he can see my face. "I would have offered myself up to Ammonet in your stead, if it had been possible. I would gladly give my life if that could somehow bring Sha're back to you. But I will not stand back and allow you to die... not then... not now. Every part of my being knows that it is necessary for you to continue on, and Sha're also knew this." 

His sobbing ceases and he wipes his sleeve across his face. 

I continue. "Each year we shall remember this anniversary. Each year let us rededicate ourselves to the struggle in the name of those who have fallen." 

Tired eyes look upon me. Tired... yes... but I sense a relief as well. A burden is shifted. Perhaps a faith in self and purpose has been restored? 

We rise to a stand as he offers his hand in a gesture of friendship. I firmly grasp it and pull him into a hard embrace, usually reserved for Master Bra'tac. 

He exhales sharply at the unexpected contact. My symbiote is curious as well, and moves to investigate, bumping... I am certain... against Daniel Jackson's stomach. 

Daniel Jackson stills... freezes in place, and pulls back. There is no horror or revulsion on his face. Instead I feel his hand press against my stomach, touching my symbiote through the thin fabric of the T-shirt. I see true understanding in his eyes and an affirmation of who and what I am. 

An unfamiliar wetness comes to my eyes, blurring my perfect vision. I watch him leave silently. I am left with the hope that the trouble between us has ended and that the turmoil within him has stilled. 

Tears flow, and the healing begins. 

**~ The End ~**

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>   
>  © May 26, 2000 The characters mentioned in this story are the property of Showtime and Gekko Film Corp. The Stargate, SG-I, the Goa'uld and all other characters who have appeared in the series STARGATE SG-1 together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MGM-UA Worldwide Television, Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions and Stargate SG-I Prod. Ltd. Partnership. This fanfic is not intended as an infringement upon those rights and solely meant for entertainment. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author.  
> 

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